Becoming a Mother: Key resources that got me through the first few months
The list I wish someone had sent me
The amount of information available to expecting and new moms is mind-boggling. Not only do you already have your hands full growing a little human, and then adjusting to your new life where a little person depends on you completely, but if you’re anything like me, you’re left with a million questions at all times. You want not just answers, but reliable, practical information. Easier said than done.
That’s why I’m writing this article. It’s the list I wish someone had sent me when I announced I was pregnant.
Here’s what will hopefully be a useful starting point if you like evidence- or science-based advice, are open to embracing the value of traditions and the importance of food, and enjoy reading (though I include other mediums too).
It is World Book Day, after all.
Investing in a healthy pregnancy where coffee and wine aren’t all evil
For pregnancy, “Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong — and What You Really Need to Know” was the only book I read. Written by an economist who reviewed the detailed literature, it tells you what the medical research actually says about everything from prenatal exams to ask for (or not) to whether you can drink wine and coffee, and how much is ok.
The website “What to Expect” was an easy and fun way to get weekly updates on baby development — such as “your baby is the size of a mango” — as well as what symptoms you might be experiencing throughout pregnancy.
The website Spinning Babies has a video called “Daily Essentials” with general tips as well as a stretching series that builds up to a 30min prenatal yoga session that is amazing to avoid pregnancy aches — and get the baby in position for birth. It costs around USD 16, but if you’re like me and do the various routines a few times a week for nine months, that’s a steal!
Preparing for a smooth birth, regardless of what your birth plan is
I discovered hypnobirthing through a class and by reading “Hypnobirthing” by Marie Mongan. It teaches you about all the incredible things your body can do in pregnancy and birth as well as breathing and relaxation techniques for a meditation- and pain-free vaginal birth.
Postpartum references, worth reading ahead of time
Everyone focuses heavily on pregnancy and birth. I understand why, but now that I’m on the other side, I realize that those are the easy, short-lived parts of motherhood. I wish I had prepared more for life after birth, so here are my go-to references I wish I had dived into while pregnant — plus one or two that in retrospect were NOT a good use of my time.
Books
Three books I loved, and a fourth that’s a great reference
- “The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother” — a cookbook with delicious recipes that help heal, recover from birth, and support milk production, presented alongside stories from various cultures on the tradition of postpartum care and the transition to motherhood (I really loved this one and recommend it the most)
- “The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality” — super interesting, about your recovery and healing
- “The Wonder Weeks: A Stress-Free Guide to Your Baby’s Behavior” — everything you need to know about the 10 big developmental leaps your baby will experience from birth through to 24 months, related behaviours, and more.
Two other useful books that don’t make the top three are “The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two” which was interesting to skim while I was still pregnant, but is so massive that it is more of a doorstop than an easy reference — at least at this point in time (10 weeks postpartum); and “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby” which is about sleep. The latter is a solid reference, one of many, but we ended up embracing the “responsive parenting” approach.
Last but not least I want to mention a book I started reading but gave up halfway, “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding” by La Leche League. La Leche League is an incredible community and platform around breastfeeding, and I have heard that their website is full of useful articles. If you live near a La Leche League group, that can be a wonderful source of support for your breastfeeding journey. However, while the book is filled with useful information, I found it a bit too idealistic and “preachy”, and did not get through it.
Podcasts
- “Nursing and Cursing” is my favorite — full of down to earth anecdotes and insights shared by a group of friends who are all mothers
- “The Longest Shortest Time” — interesting topics around pregnancy and motherhood, offered up in short episodes
Some other podcasts I enjoyed one or two episodes of but didn’t have the time to dive into further include:
- The Badass Breastfeeding Podcast
- Big Fat Positive
- Pure Nurture
- Sex Birth Trauma (by the author of “The Fourth Trimester”)
Most content exists across platforms, so don’t hesitate to check out social media content before deciding which voice and approach resonates the most. Then, depending on whether your format of choice is visual (Instagram), audio (podcasts), digital (apps), or the written word (books), you can invest in the right medium.
And once you are a mom, if you are breastfeeding, the BEST and most reliable source of information is kellymom.com. It was recommended to me by a stellar OBGYN, and it has been a lifesaver — it finally taught me how to get a proper latch, how to avoid clogged ducts, and more.
Two accounts I love — and trust — on Instagram are:
- @Pachamama.London, a wonderful resource that curates experts and content relevant throughout pregnancy and motherhood; and
- @DrMDC_psychologist who is a licensed clinical psychologist distilling her experience into great tips and suggestions to make your mama life a tad easier.
Note: There are endless Instagram — and social media — accounts around pregnancy, postpartum, and motherhood. Find your vibe, but be careful because no one checks credentials, and some profiles are run by possibly well-intentioned people who don’t actually know what they are talking about.
There you have it! Happy prepping, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions, or if you want to share what your go-to books around pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and motherhood are.
